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We all like to tell someone “I know a guy” or “I know a
lady” who can exceed that person's expectations with price, selection, or
service. The reason is simple -- if the person we recommend really comes
through, then we are the hero. We recommend people we trust; we trust people we
know well. The only way to get to know someone is to actually spend time with
them to build a relationship. No one in their right mind would risk burning
relationship collateral by referring, much less recommending, someone with whom
the extent of the relationship is having their business card.
Today, the buzzword is “networking,” and the idea is to
connect with as many people as possible who need and want your product or
service or who will introduce you to others who do. This is accomplished by
attending face-to-face meetings and using social media such as Facebook and
LinkedIn. The problem is that people who attend these meetings, or who regularly
use social media, all want to sell -- not be sold. When I speak at these types
of meetings I sometimes ask, “How many of you have a product or service to
sell?” and almost all of the hands are raised. Then I ask, “How many of you
came here today to buy something?” and no hands are raised.
So how can you get the most out of networking? Simple, Don't
network. Relationship-build.
Since no one attends networking events to buy, don't try to
sell. Rather, attend these types of events with the purpose of wanting to
serve. Zig Ziglar says, “You can have everything in life that you want if you
just help enough other people get what they want.” Use these events as
opportunities to identify people with whom you want to meet again to get to
know them better and to explore ways you can bring value to them either
professionally or personally. Use social media as an opportunity to present
helpful tips and become known as a problem-solver. When you meet with people,
ask questions and genuinely take an interest in their stories. Remember, people
spend tons of money going to counselors with whom they can just talk and who will
listen. Just listen to people and you will gain their friendship, confidence
and trust.
The bottom line is that few people enjoy making cold calls. Referrals
may get you in the door, but recommendations put money in your pocket. Spend
your time developing relationships rather than networking and you'll never have
to make another cold call.
Mark Goldstein is the president of the Central Florida
Christian Chamber of Commerce. E-mail:
